He once hacked the Pentagon but only changed the cafeteria menu
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His code is so bad it created security holes in air-gapped systems
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Recursive functions that made three senior developers quit
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His cryptocurrency "MahirCoin" was just JPEG files of dollar signs
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This website crashes every browser except Internet Explorer 6
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His password manager was just a text file called "definitely_not_passwords.txt"
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His IoT project somehow turned 10,000 toasters into spam machines
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